i want to build some bikes...

I liked a lot of these contraptions. There was one that made the BC Wheel look like child's play.

things heard during...

the women's olympic beach volleyball game between the US and the Dutch.

• It gets hard playing with a sweaty ball.
• They like playing with each other.
• That's what she told me the other night.
• A double fist, you think?
• A little anxious moment when they poke it over your head.
• Nicole Branagh continues to pound away!

I mean it's cool seeing four chicks in bikinis get all sweaty on TV, especially when they're slapping each other in the butt. Then again, these women are second only to power lifters in their masculinity.

I definitely watch it for the double entendre.

Felt like crap on the road today. A short ride by recent standards, and the weather was beautiful. Rode some of my favorite roads, and had a moment where I had the uncontrollable perma-grin that more than made up for how bad my legs felt.

Tomorrow's another 4 park ride, shooting for 60 miles on the mountain bike. Really I guess it's my last true preperation for the Shenandoah Mountain 100. I don't know how guys like Nate at handlebarsandwich.com do multiple 100 milers on the MTB throughout the year. I just want to survive.

recognition...

This weekend was a full-blown road riding weekend punctuated by a viewing of The Dark Knight. For the first time since his death, I will now say that it is a real shame Heath Ledger is dead. See the Dark Knight if only for his performance. It made the rest of the movie seem cheap, and it was a decent movie at that.

Anyway, 70 miles, rolling to flat yesterday with a big group of DCCofDers. Today, I woke up super early to beat the heat and thunder to ride the upper 60 miles of the Savage Century. I've done the Savage 75 before, a brutal ride, but it skips the worst hills. Today we rode the area from mile 20 to mile 80 on the map below.


It is a hard ride, very saw-tooth, with very little recovery. The descents are technical enough you can't recover, and the climbs are just brutally steep and relentless. To say the least, dear reader, it is a tough ride, today made worse by a lot of waiting and start - stop action. I hate stop - start action.

So you can imagine my delight when Local Hardman Frostbite Steve agreed that a Wawa milkshake (nectar of the gods) would be the ideal recovery drink after the ride.

Not local hardman Frostbite Steve. Instead pictured is anonymous cute hipster girl sucking a Wawa shake through a straw. Nearly impossible if you set the machine to "most thick".

Anyway, as we're scooping milkshake with spoons while waiting to check out, I see a dude wearing a T-shirt and C3 bike short bibs. I don't recognize the face, but I start chanting, "Booooo C3!! Booooo Charm City!!" The guy sees my Henry's Pink and smiles and I ask if he was up racing the Hibernia Duathlon - he's no crosser I recognize. Indeed he was, his name was Corey, and he's an Auer Goon on a mountain bike.

So after I get his name, he asks, "where have I seen you before?" I say, "Not sure, you're not a crosser, so I don't know." He responds, "Were you hanging out with Fatmarc at Fair Hill??? Yes, that's it!! I knew I recognized you! You're the thong dude!"

I must say, it's nice to be a local legend. It was never going to happen via exploits on the bike. I had to step it up a notch. But my name, or at least my pasty-white ass cheeks will be known.

to the mid-coast...

So the Tough Cookie and I took a little trip to the Mid-Coast. Luck, Wisconsin to be exact, with a short lay-over in Minneapolis. Let me take you, dear reader, on a little photo-journey.

We landed in Minneapolis, where T.C. ate a gigantic cherry.

I forgot water bottles so we stopped at a typical Mid-Coast bike shop.

Riding bikes in Wisconsin taught me two things: it's really flat in Wisonsin,

...and they have some vicious m-f-ing hornets.

Drank some beers and sat by the lake.

Things that make me proud to be an American: an eagle on a Stars and Stripes being pulled on a John Deere in front of a PBR street sign.

Don't even have to go to your local 40+ hot spot to find me some Cougars.

D-Bag Claim.

bag 'em and tag 'em...

I've been called out of my blissful blog slumber by none other than Faticus and Ms. Dee V. Ous. And although I'd love to post some pictures and highlights from my trip to the Mid-Coast, that will have to be delayed to make time for the chain-blog. Just when my email inbox was safe from chain emails, my Google Reader is now being attacked by chain blog posts. Nonetheless, here goes....

If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be?


Seriously though, probably my road bike. If I'm reduced to nothing more than a lowly bike commuter some day, at least it'd still be functional.

Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not?

A bike's a bike. The joys of building up / owning a Sp*t Br*nd* 29er taught me that the stuff built for the masses can be less money and less headache.

*Name changed to prevent unfair harm to brand image

If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why?

That's like the rhetorical question: "If a guy hands you a gun with one bullet, points to your best friend, and says, 'You have to choose - kill your best friend or kill yourself.' What would you do?"

Well, I'd shoot the d-bag asking me to choose.

What kind of sick person would force another person to ride one and only one bike ride to do for the rest of her / his life?

Refer to the previous response.

Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrow minded?

I'm the jack of all trades, master of none. When it comes down to it, I'll ride anything because I hate riding alone. Sometimes others are riding road, sometimes they're riding mountain. And sometimes they're riding cross bikes which I really hate but it's all anyone does in the autumn around here.

Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent.

To date, no. But if it meant going over 80 miles per hour on a bike I'd do it. Especially if it had speakers blasting "Danger Zone" (see the fourth video in the link below).

The only recumbant I'd ride

Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss?

I suck hard enough at riding alone. Why would I want to publicly suck at running and swimming too? I can take a piece of dental floss and suck it up my nose and cough it out my mouth. A talent that makes it look like I'm flossing my throat.

Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why?

I'd find the gun from question #2 and shoot the d-bag asking that question.

What is a question you think this questionnaire should have asked, but has not?
Also, answer it.

Do you shave your legs because you ride? Or do you ride because you shave your legs?

My answer: Yes.

You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do?

I make sweet, sweet love to the bear.



Anyone else decides to respond, please put your link in my comment section.